Pictures

This pictures if of Addie her senior year. She's graduating this year and is going to Miami University. You can't even tell that she has leukemia.


This pictures is of Addie as a baby. So cute :]

Introduction.

The book that I read was called, 'Before I Die.' This book was really depressing but I thought that it delivered a good message. Tessa was the main character and was diagnosed with leukemia. She was really sad about the matter that she couldn't live a "normal" life. She made a list of 10 things to do before she died. I think that she showed people who are ill or sick, to just keep living your life. Don't stop doing the things you want to accomplish just because your sick.

For my project, I wanted to interview someone that has leukemia like Tessa. I went on the internet and searched, 'stories of leukemia.' I found this really good website that gave had teenagers that have cancer tell their stories. There were all kinds of cancers that people gave their stories to. It's really sad to think about someone could live like that. Anyway, I looked at the stories that were about leukemia and I saw that they gave their email address's if you wanted to contact them just to talk. I decided that I wanted to "interview" someone that had leukemia. So, I sent two people emails asking them if they could contact me back if they were willing to answer some questions. Surprisingly someone did. I was so excited! Under is my interview.

Interview

When were you diagnosed?
Okay so I was diagnosed my sophomore year when I was 15. I am now a 17-year old senior in high school.

What did it feel like to be told you have cancer? What does it fell like to have leukemia?
Okay so I've always been really healthy. But my sophomore year around september or october, I was having insane mood swings and I would randomly get dizzy. So in November we went to the doctor and he said that it was just stress so he sent me home. The dizziness just kept getting worse and worse. It would happen more often. The mood swings got worse too. I knew something was wrong. I have no idea how I knew, I guess it was just my body trying to tell me something was up. I thought I had depression or something. So in early march, it was a monday. I was in my french class and all of a sudden I got double vision. I hadn't had that before. So my mom made another appointment with the doctor for that friday. That night, I realized i had a huge mass on my stomach (not like popping out, but something was there). My entire left side of my stomach was really hard. It felt like I was flexing my abs (if I had rock hard abs) but just on the left part of my stomach. I could feel the edge of it in the middle of my stomach. Then I had a cold that would not go away that week, got pink eye (I've never gotten pink eye before), and my bruises were inflating it seemed. Ha I was actually in math class and showed my boyfriend, at the time, my bruise and this other kid was like "Addie has cancer! It's a tumor!" Yeah, he felt horrible after he heard, haha. Anyway, when we went to the doctor's, he almost sent me home again saying it was stress. But last minute my mom told him to feel my stomach. He immediately ordered a CAT scan and a blood test. The CAT scan showed that my spleen was enlarged. They said it was possibly caused by mono. At the time I was like "What? Mono? NO! I can't get that". The blood results weren't in yet so they sent me home. Around 11 that night my mom woke me up and told me we were going to the hospital. I was freakeddd out. She didn't tell me why so I had no idea what was going on. I went upstairs and called my boyfriend to telll him what was going on (well what I knew). I was so scared. On the way, my mom said something about my white blood cell count being high, and for some reason I knew that meant cancer. I chose not to believe that though. Then my mom turned around and asked "do you know what an oncologist is?" (I knew, but for some reason I said no) and she explained that it was a cancer doctor. So then I thought I had a tumor in my spleen or something. I don't totally remember what happened in between then and the next morning. So the next morning, I met my oncologist. He walked in and introduced himself. Then pretty abruptly he was like "It looks like you have leukemia." I was SHOCKED. It was almost like a movie. I wasn't aware of ANYTHING around me. I almost retreated into my mind. My first thought was "what? me? cancer? no. i'm a plain jane... this isn't supposed to happen to me." And then my second thought was "I'M GOING TO DIE LIKE THE GIRL IN A WALK TO REMEMBER". I'm pretty sure my oncologist recognized my fear because he turned to me and assured me I was going to get through this. To be honest, I didn't believe him. I thought he was lying to me. He left the room and my mom and I cried for about three hours, but then we were ready to deal with it. We started to call people to let them know what was going on and I started treatments. My leukemia is called Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. It is one of the most treatable cancers and they caught it early. I didn't have to have chemo or radiation. Well, I had to take chemo in a pill form for a month. They also put me on this other medicine called Gleevec. It controls the gene that caused my cancer. I was in the hospital for about a week and a half. To be honest, I didn't mind being in the hospital. I almost always had visitors and the nurses and doctors were SO nice. The only pain I was in was caused by a port they put into my chest for easy blood access. It never really healed while I had it so it basically hurt to move. Sometimes I would get very nauseous from all the meds I was on, and I'd be dizzy from being dehydrated, but that's the only uncomfort I was in. After I got out of the hospital, I had to stay out of public for a month. That's when mentally things began getting rough. I was only allowed to go to the hospital or the house of my tutor (who helped me keep up with school work). I would get very very depressed for no reason. Well I guess I had a reason, but what I was feeling just didn't make sense. One thing that really helped was talking to other cancer patients. There's just this feeling you have that you can't really communicate to someone who doesn't have cancer. Well, from there I began going further and further into remission. I was out of school for about a month. So it wasn't bad at all. I was really worried about people treating me differently. I didn't want people to be like "oh be careful, she has cancer" and stuff. I'm still the same Addie, just a new life experience.

Did your attitude towards life change at all from not knowing to knowing your diagnosis?
My attitude towards life completely changed. That was the first time I was actually scared for my life. I thought that I had been scared for my life before, but it was nothing like this. When you're told you have cancer of course death crosses your mind. I was astounded by the thought of not living into old age. It really forced me to grow up & mature a ton. Now, things that are a HUGE deal to some people really don't matter to me. It's not worth it to worry about the little things. Yes, I still get caught up in that stuff, but I'm able to take a step back and put it into perspective. I guess my perspective shifted from right here, right now, to the big picture. It really strengthened my faith in God. It forced me to ONLY rely on Him.

When you were told you were diagnosed did you tell your friends right away? And how did they react, and were they supportive? if so, how were they supportive?
I called three people right after my mom and I had our crying session. I called my boyfriend at the time, my best friend sarah, and then my friend who's in college. My boyfriend was crushed but he didn't cry on the phone. But I've heard stories that he just like locked himself in his room and then called people. Sarah didn't answer so I'm not sure how she reacted. Heather, as soon as I told her she got silent then she started to sob.. I felt so bad. They were all really supportive though. My main group of friends are my youth group basically so they were constantly praying for me, visiting me, encouraging me, and just being awesome.

Did you still go to school?
Yeah, so expanding on the school part... I was out of school for about a month. During that time my teachers gave schoolwork to a tutor and I went to her. She helped me stay caught up with my classmates. So basically I was caught up by the time I went back to school. I am now going to be graduating with my class on May 31st.

Did your activities change?
Uh my activities didn't drastically change. I used to be a dancer and I was on the dance team. I decided to quit because it was just extremely stressful and I didn't need that.

Poem

Heartbroken

Life was drowning away
Every moment went by so quickly, too fast
Under the bed sheets of that familiar hospital sent
Knowing death is near
Enduring the recognizable pain
Mom and dad are close, holding my hands
In my body cancer cells keep reproducing
Away, I leave, drifting higher and higher to heaven

LEUKEMIA:
a malignant progressive disease in which the bone marrow and other blood-forming organs produce increased numbers of immature or abnormal leukocytes. These suppress the production of normal blood cells, leading to anemia and other symptoms.

Statistics on Leukemia: 2006 Estimates
The American Cancer Society estimated that 35,070 men and women (20,000 men and 15,070 women) would be diagnosed with leukemia in 2006, and 22,280 men and women would die of the disease during the year.

Leukemia Statistics: Age-at-Diagnosis Figures
From 1998-2002, the median age at leukemia diagnosis was 67 years. The percentages of people diagnosed with the disease based on age were as follows:

11.4 percent were diagnosed under age 20
5.2 percent between 20 and 34
5.9 percent between 35 and 44
9.7 percent between 45 and 54
13.9 percent between 55 and 64
20.5 percent between 65 and 74
23.2 percent between 75 and 84
10.1 percent at 85+ years of age.

Leukemia Statistics: Deaths
From 1998-2002, the median age at death from leukemia was 74 years. The percentages of people who died from the disease based on age were:

3.3 percent died under age 20
3.5 percent between 20 and 34
3.9 percent between 35 and 44
6.7 percent between 45 and 54
11.8 percent between 55 and 64
23.4 percent between 65 and 74
31.1 percent between 75 and 84
16.4 percent at 85+ years of age.

The age-adjusted death rate for leukemia was 7.6 per 100,000 men and women per year. These rates are based on people who died in 1998-2002 in the United States. Death rates by race and sex are shown in the following table.

http://leukemia.emedtv.com/leukemia/leukemia-statistics.html

Reflection

After doing this project, I had a totally new view on life. Addie is just like anyone teenager that had a little more bumps in the road. Of course you would feel bad that someone has to experience such hardships in their life, but they moved past the tears and questioning, and realized this is who they are, and it wasn't their fault this happened. Addie lives a normal life now. She has a boyfriend who cares about her, a family that loves her to death, and is graduating from high school and going to college. She's just like us. The pictures of her now was taking this year. That picture is her senior picture. To me she is gorgeous and she doesn't look like she would have cancer. I think its amazing how by looking at someone, you wouldn't be able to tell if they were to have cancer or not. I'm really glade that I contacted Addie. After she did the interview, we still talked about college and other things that we were interested in. Overall I really enjoyed this project and learned a lot from it.

I would just like to say, thanks Addie!!! She made my project possible and awesome!

I Believe

I believe in a second chance. “Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those days.” Lyrics from Miley Cyrus’s song “Nobody’s perfect.” Some mistakes you can fix, and some you cannot. Some are your fault, and some aren’t. In my book, “Before I Die,” she didn’t make a typical mistake, an action of judgment that was wrong; she was just born that way, with cancer and more specifically, leukemia. This might not seem like a mistake exactly, but she can’t fix it, and it wasn’t her fault, to me that’s a mistake. Life is never fair and everyone knows that they can’t always have their way and get what they want. People living with leukemia probably wonder as their going for their weekly or daily treatments, “why me?” “What did I do to deserve this torture?”

I believe in a second chance. I think that everyone deserves another chance no matter how bad you messed up or didn’t mess up. In Tessa’s situation, she didn’t mess up but her body wasn’t capable of fighting off the cancer cells. As a result she got leukemia. I think that she deserves a second chance as well as everyone else. To live life over again where she doesn’t have cancer or anything that affects her life in any way. I think everyone should live like this. No one should die in that way; I also believe that everyone should live life to the fullest and cherish every moment. Tessa made a list of 10 things she wanted to do before she died and she accomplished every one of them. She made sure that she took advantage of every second, even though her sickness sometimes got the better of her.

I believe in a second chance. I think that everyone should have another try at things. If you bomb a test, I think that everyone should be able to take it over again and try to do over again with a better result. No one should be stuck with his or her mistake; we should just try again. On of the things that Tessa wanted to do before her death was break the law. So, she shoplifted from a store and got caught. She tried to get out of her mistake by saying that she was sick but they didn’t care, she broke the law, and she had to suffer the consequences. Her dad gave her a second chance and forgave her, not because she was sick but because he knew that she was sorry and knew that she made a mistake.

I believe in second chances. I think that everyone should get another chance at life. Those who are living or died of cancer and those who were born without arms and legs and people who were born mentally retarded and even people who committed crimes! I believe that everyone should be able to press the red reset button on their lives and just have another chance to be what the “normal” is and be happy about their appearances and whom they are inside. Everyone should be given a fair shot at life and I don’t think that everyone is.

I believe that everyone should be happy no matter what his or her situation is. Whether they get everything they want or they don’t. Just be happy to be alive and live life to the fullest. Of course many people might find that line cheesy, and I agree. It’s a very common line that could get irritating, but I think that it sums up the book very well. Before, Tessa didn’t do anything when she first found out that she had cancer. All she did was lie down on her bed and mope around the house feeling sorry for herself. Then she realized that she might have wasted some of her life grumbling about her sickness when she could be “living life to the fullest.”

Sonnet

As the sunlight beats onto you, you think

Think about how to survive without him

Clouds cover sun, cold and lonely you shrink

The past overpowers you and you dim

The cool salty water frightens your toes

Your face heats up, your eyes burn, a tear

Everything is still, it’s like it has froze

They says he’ll come back, but you cannot cheer

Next year he’ll be gone, and you’re left alone

The cloud disappears and the sun shines through

Guess we didn’t realize how much we’ve grown

I can honestly say that I love him too.

I love him, my big brother, and best friend

It is the strongest bond that will never end.

“As the sunlight beats onto you, you think,” “Think about how you will survive without him.” In these two lines the sun resembles love for someone special. As the sun is continuously shining on you, you think about him and how you will be when he’s no longer there in your presence. As the brilliant sun is essential in our lives that someone is extremely important too. This person for me is my brother, Kevin.
In the third and fourth line I wrote, “Clouds cover sun, cold and lonely you shrink. The past overpowers you and you dim.” In these lines I wanted to show how the clouds sometimes hides and takes over the sun. Just like the past memorizes and thoughts of him could take over you too. Then I wrote in the test lines, “The past overpowers you and you dim.” I used the word ‘dim’ because I thought that word choice was related to the sun. This line could be interpreted like, when I think about him and become grey and sad. You would loose your color, just like when the sun is gone, everyone becomes pale and everyone’s depressed just like when I think about him.
In the first two lines in the second stanza, “The cool salty water frightens your toes.” And, “Your face heats up, your eyes burn, a tear.” These two lines may not seem like they would connect together but, I think that they do. As the water from the ocean touches your toes, the cool temperature and sting of saltiness of the water might shock you a little. Just like as a tear forms from your eyes and falls down your face, you also may to a little surprise that you’re crying.
“Everything is still, it’s like it has froze.” This line in my sonnet, which is located in the second stanza, is saying how nothing moves anymore. Without him here in my life, my own life can’t go on. Everything seems to just stay the same. It’s not the same without him. Just like how it’s not the same life without the sun. The next line after that, “They say he’ll come back, but you cannot cheer.” This line is talking about how my parents and family friends saying after college he’ll be back. But I no one can be sure about that. What if he decides to stay in California? I can’t be happy about him coming back if it never happened yet. Just like when the sun is gone and the rain pours down, no one knows for sure when the sun is coming back out, they just say it’ll come back eventually, just like the forty days of rain.
In the third stanza, “Next year he’ll be gone, and you’re left alone,” is talking about him leaving for college. We would never avoid each other at home and always talk at the dinner table. When he’s gone, I’m going to feel lonely. There’s not going to be anyone to talk to. “I guess we didn’t realize how much we’ve grown, I can honestly say that I love him too.” These two lines are here because most of the time you can’t see the things you really until they’re taken away from you. Graduation is coming up and I know he’s leaving the sooner it comes so I realized how much our brother-sister relationship as grown. I don’t have to hide it anymore I love him.
The very last stanza is my favorite line. “I love him, my big brother, and best friend.” “It is the strongest bond that will never end.” I wanted to show how close we were. I think the line, “The cloud disappears and the sun shines through,” ties in with the last two lines well. As the cloud lets the sun shine through again hope is back. The bond between us will never be broken, even if he’s miles away.
The sun is always going to be out even if you may not be able to see it. The sun is just behind the clouds, but it’s still there. Just like the special someone is always going to be there for you and will always have your back even if they aren’t there in your presents, they will always be there for you. This was the message that I was trying to portray in my sonnet.

Before I Die
She made a list of 10 things she wanted to do before her death. Tessa, the main character of Before I Die by Jenny Downham, wasn’t your average 16 year old. She was sick, and closer to her death everyday. Every day a nurse would come to her home and check to see how she is doing and takes a blood sample. She was dying of leukemia. Leukemia is a disease where your body produces an increased number of immature of abnormal leukocytes. No one wants to die like this, or even at all, but she is stuck inside her dying body and she is unfortunately dying with it. She just wants to try and live a normal life but has also accepted the fact that she’s going to die. Everyone dies; she’s just doing it early and a different way then others. Tessa is very inspirational and I think that Tessa symbolizes strength, hope, and life.
Tessa is very strong physically and mentally, which is why I think that Tessa symbolizes strength. She goes into the doctors many times and a nurse goes to her home everyday to give daily check ups to see how her blood is and how far down the line she is coming. I don’t know about you, but constantly getting needles poked into you and surgeries is painful and you have to be strong mentally and physically to have them done. I really admire her strength and I know that I personally don’t think that I could have done what she did. She also falls in love with her neighbor, Adam. This might not seem like a form of strength to you, but I think that it is. To find someone that you love and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person but the rest of your life is only a limited time. That you know you are going to loose them at any given moment. But both Adam and Tessa don’t care, they are in love with each other and they don’t let her sickness interfere with that emotion.
I think that Tessa also symbolizes hope. She isn’t an angle sent down that has the cure for leukemia but, I think she’s a great roll model for those who are sick with anything whether it can be cured or not. I do think that she is some kind of angle though. One that will protect her father that quit his job to stay home with her and her little brother that she loves. She will also watch over her mother and be their angle. She tries to go on with life like she’s just a normal 16 year old and does everything she wants to do. Most people who are ill don’t do anything because they feel that they are too sick to stand up and have fun and instead they just sleep in bed and wait until they die. I don’t think that people who are sick should live like that; they should do what Tessa did and make the best out of life until it’s gone. Tessa makes the best out of her sickness and says that she could do anything she wanted and it didn’t matter because she was dying anyway. Maybe some people don’t have the same attitude that Tessa has, but if I were sick, I think I would have done what Tessa did.
Lastly, I think that Tessa also symbolizes life. You might think this is ironic because she is dying, but I think that she shows everyone how to live life before it’s over. She lives life to the fullest despite her illness. She does some things in this book you wouldn’t expect an average teenager to do, but she wants to do everything and experience everything before she can’t anymore. She shows people how to live life everday. No one wants to have cancer or even to get a minor cold and you might think that it isn’t fair that you have to get this, but life is never fair and you just have to except the fact that you are ill and go on with your life. Tessa writes down things that she wants to do and accomplishes most of them. These things involved illeagle things and things teenagers would just want to try out for fun. But her death doesn’t allow her to be with her best friend, Zoey, for her birth of a new baby. Tessa’s accepted the fact that she won’t be with Zoey physically, but here spiritually watching over her and her new baby.
In this book Before I Die, Tessa shows us how to be strong mentally and physically. She shows us how to have hope and try to continue life without feeling sorry for yourself. I also learn from here that I should life live to its fullest before it’s over. You really never know when it’s your time to go so why not just love life while you can and enjoy every moment in it? I think that Tessa symbolizes strength, hope, and life. She has shown me how to live my life and carry myself better with more strength.

Witnessing Greatness
I couldn’t believe it, another Saturday wasted because I had to go to an intense 1:00-5:00 band practice for the D.C. trip. I was starting to wonder if all these practices and rehearsals were really worth the experience. Sometimes after school I had to go to the band room for a music session. I have to admit, I didn’t want to go at first, but my mom signed me up anyway and told me that I should go because it was an experience of a lifetime. I knew that I’d probably regret not going so I went to all the practices. Our last practice was at Barbara’s Point and it stormed, but we kept marching, I think that gave us a little more confidence that we could march through the inauguration with no problem.
January 16th was here and that meant that we were departing on our big adventure to D.C. It took forever to get there and by the 3rd flight, everyone was way too excited to sleep on the flight over. We were all extremely tired, but our anxiousness got the best of us. I couldn’t believe how cold it was. The feeling was indescribable as my roommates, Mikaela, Colby, and Lindsey, and I stepped off the plane. We knew we were really here and it was such an honor to be here. We were tired from the plane ride, but we couldn’t sleep due to our excitement and some jetlag but, unfortunately, the next day we had a practice at one of the parks. Everyone bundled in four or five layers of clothes, gloves, hats, and scarves, anything to keep the warm air in. I particularly was not a fan of the below 20˚ temperature, but I knew that it wasn’t going to get any warmer like in Hawaii so I had to suck it up. While we were rehearsing our music, I couldn’t play. My lips were to frozen and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably. I didn’t know how I was going to get past the parade.
To get our minds off of the parade and the crazy temperatures, they drove us by a few monuments. It was way to cold too walking to them so we all boarded the bus instead. Everywhere we went was beautiful. We went to the capital in the morning and had a short tour and then we visited the other monuments at night because they looked so much better when they glow in the surrounding darkness. I was amazed when we went to the Arlington cemetery. So many miles of grass filled with graves of those who fought for their rights. Every grave is in line because it shows that they were discipline in the army.
Our last rehearsal was almost done. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as cold as it was previous days. There was even a slight snowfall. The practice was just like in Hawaii, only without the 80˚ weather. We went around and around the track and played all of our tunes. I felt pretty confident after the practice. After marching, we gathered together to take a group picture. Something strange happened as we sat together as a group to pose for a picture. It made me feel that we were ready and that we were going to represent Punahou well.
Finally it was January 20th, the day of the parade. It was 4:15 in the morning and I wasn’t very excited to get up this early, but it finally sunk in parade day and I thought to myself, “All the work we’ve done will finally pay off today.” Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that standing in the cold for five or six hours was part of the deal. But, to keep us warm, everyone huddled together like penguins and that helped, a little. Finally, the parade was about to begin. I couldn’t believe it, I was about to witness a great moment in history. We began to march and everything went away. All my excitement, my fears, everything, I just couldn’t wait to pass the Punahou grad that’s now our President and present ourselves well. It was truly inspiring to know that President Obama came from a small rock in the ocean. He work hard and dreamt big, and he got his “dream come true fantasy,” President of the United States. I feel like if I try as hard as he did, and dream as big as he and follow my dreams, I could accomplish anything. As we marched passed President Obama I frantically searched for him, knowing that we weren’t supposed to look around when you’re in “attention” but I had to try. I didn’t find him though and I was quite disappointed. Even though I didn’t see him, I could feel his glowing smile and excitement as we marched past the window where he stood with his family. But, I knew that it was worth the journey as we passed him playing Aloha Oe. All over the news they had stories about the Punahou band and Obama smiling and giving us the shaka. It really made me feel proud of everyone. I was so grateful that we were able to have the opportunity to experience this amazing journey. My mom was right after all; it was a great moment in history.
All that was left was to enjoy the rest of the trip. Lucky for us, we got a dinner at the ESPN zone. Everyone was extremely tired at the end of the day and just wanted to go back to the hotel and crash. This practices and trip was tiring and difficult, but overall I’m really glad I went. President Obama grew up here on these same islands and he probably didn’t think that he would end up to be President of the United States. He might have dreamt, prayed, and hope that maybe one day he would accomplish his dream. But his dream came true. He worked hard and told him self that he could be President. I hope that one day I will be whatever it is I dream to be just like Obama did. I might have doubts and worries or troubles getting past the obstacles like Obama probably did, but I will work had and try be best to accomplish my dream. This experience was extremely inspirational to me and was extremely life changing.

Comic Life